People think that momming gets easier as kids become more independent. I remember when my kids were in diapers, I looked forward to the day they were potty-trained, or when they were breastfeeding, I looked forward to them eating the same food I ate.

 What I didn’t know was they were always going to do EVERYTHING when and if they CHOSE to, and not at all on my plan or schedule.

“Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.” 
― George Harrison

Have you ever been in the room, having a conversation, engaging in what you hoped was dialog, only to feel that the other person was not there? I mean, they are sitting before you, flesh and blood…

…but they weren’t really present?

Have you been in a place in time where events were happening, people were moving in and out of the frame, there was conversation (and you were part of it), but you weren’t…

…really there?

Have you ever been in a meeting, where slides were being presented, decisions were being made, talk was being had…

…and no one was there?

It will be 6 years tomorrow.

Six years since my big brother died suddenly.

Death is a bitch.

There’s no negotiating, no promising something, no potential left.

It’s just over.

The clock stops.

Time runs out.

In my deep grief moments, an acquaintance, in her trying-to-be-helpful voice said, “Well, his life and death has to mean something. What do you think it means?”

And I wanted to punch her in the face.

Do You Have a Confidence Problem?

You have a million ideas about what you want to do with your life, but you just haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe you’ve spent your life making sure others get what they need. Maybe someone else steered you in the direction of their dreams instead of yours, and somehow you’ve been on that path ever since. Maybe you just never had the nerve to even ask yourself what you really want.

Ask the lonely woman what she wants most in life, she will say, “I want to be loved.”

Ask the man riddled with disease what he wants most in life, he will say, “I want to be well.”

Ask the poor soul with no money what she wants most in life, she will say, “I want to be rich.”

"I was staring down middle age and NONE OF MY DREAMS HAD COME TRUE. I was overworked, underpaid, sleepless, ashamed, lonesome, sick, and dangerously depressed, and steps away from a complete breakdown.

That’s when I found the secret to happiness."